


Fear of Falling

by SamanthaSoong



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Culture, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 15:21:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12843978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaSoong/pseuds/SamanthaSoong
Summary: What starts as an interest in psychology for Saru soon becomes an interest in the psychologist.(I can't be the only one who thinks the world needs more Saru smut then there already is! First 2 chapters are exposition; whatever follows will be explicit.)





	Fear of Falling

It’s been said that the opposite of war is fucking. 

Well, it’s been thought. Specifically, by Lieutenant Caden, and specifically tonight, the type of night that was common aboard the Discovery these days: long, and tense, and quiet. Even in the astropsychology lab, which on a typical ship would be buzzing with outgoing discussion, officers spoke in hushed tones, and kept themselves to their work. This made sense. What would there be to say? News from the frontline ranged from merely disappointing (still no progress in understanding the Klingon cloaking technology) to harrowing (entire ships and their crews lost, no — taken, without remorse, and more doubtless to follow in the coming weeks and months). 

So, as Bryn Caden blankly analyzed more testimonies and statistics for her latest project, the project that earned her a spot aboard Discovery, she turned her thoughts deliberately to sex. During her last posting, she had a relationship budding with a helmsman, a lighthearted, enthusiastic Andorian woman named Wela, but that had all but fizzled out once Disco ceased all outgoing communications for security purposes. Wela wouldn’t wait. She had joined Starfleet “just to get off Andor”, and with her curiosity (and silky white hair down to her low back), she would snap up or be snapped up in no time. Who, then, to fantasize about? There were certain public figures that raised her heart rate: the respected Captain Pike, a certain Vulcan professor who taught ethics at the Academy, interplanetary pop stars and headline-makers. But it would take more than that to balance out the heaviness and weariness that came with being at war, and with being in the lab for six hours straight with no reprieve. Maybe that was what her body was asking for, at this late hour: not an orgasm, but a break. She plopped the PADD on her desk, still displaying a data table of which she could hardly remember the topic, and rose to leave, telling her assistant Ensign Reynolds that she was headed to the commissary for a coffee. 

The USS Discovery, if nothing else, was a handsome ship, she thought as she walked the corridor leisurely, hands deep in her pockets. It had just left the Utopia Planitia shipyard a year ago, and, due to its high importance in the war, it was outfitted with technology freshly developed at the Academy, Daystrom Institute, and elsewhere. It just saddened her that all this luxury, and progress, and efficiency, was being devoted to an endless battle with a superior foe. Everyone relied on their crewmates to make this place a home, and not just a beautiful, hopeless death trap. Lorca had his methods of ensuring that only the best and brightest were allowed to come here, and it made for great discussion, and valuable friendships. Yet, for Caden, no romance. 

But this war was far from over. 

The commissary was eerily empty, probably because there was just a shift change thirty minutes ago. Still, the Disco crew worked tirelessly, and it was unusual that they wouldn’t take the few chances they had to socialize. She looked around: four cadets at a round table, a couple of Vulcans playing a card game, and the First Officer, Saru, alone. This was characteristic of him, but since they worked at opposite ends of the ship, and were on duty at different times, they rarely saw each other outside of official contexts. Caden considered joining him. As the replicator synthesized a latte (an old Earth coffee beverage whose recipe she had to program in herself), she glanced over only to see him intently… pouring table salt into his drink? Well, Reynolds was waiting on her to bring a coffee back, so she decided against saying anything. Two drinks in hand, she turned back towards the door, only to be flagged down by the man she was just observing. 

“Ah- Lieutenant Caden, if I could have a word?”

Oh God, she hoped he hadn’t caught her staring. 

“First Officer! What can I do for you?”

“Are you on duty? Or do you have a moment?”

“Well, I thought I’d work through the night in the psych lab, but it’s just overtime. I was taking a break, actually.”

“Then please, sit down.” He gestured to the chair opposite him and his be-salted beverage. “How are you this evening?”

“I’m fine. Tired as the rest of us.” Then, as to not sound ungrateful to a superior, she added, “but, of course, so lucky to be here. The work is fascinating.”

“Right, and how is that progressing? Well, I hope?” 

Though she was more than happy to discuss her research, she wondered what this was all about. “I wouldn’t be serving overtime tonight if it wasn’t! If you recall, my most recent project involves the emotional effects of warfare on a populace who has only ever experienced peace. This excludes many non-Terrans, to be sure, but actually, for a lot of us, this is our first time, you know…” She trailed off. “…fighting.” 

Saru nodded, then looked away, taking time before he responded. “Lieutenant Caden, may I speak freely?” 

“Certainly. Always. Is something wrong?”

“No, no, not ‘wrong’, per se. Seeing as you are the senior-most officer aboard with a specialty in psychology, I had hoped to ask you some questions regarding… my own psychology.” 

Though they were making direct eye contact, the discussion stalled. 

“Go on,” she prompted. 

“As you know, I am Kelpien, and our sense of danger is heightened to begin with. But, since coming here from the Shenzou — since the start of the war — it’s only become more intense. I was wondering if you could possibly advise me on how not to let it get in the way of my duty as First Officer. Personally, I am able to cope. But I don’t want it infringing on my ability to lead this crew, or… to protect the Captain.”

Given his history aboard the Shenzou, with Captain Georgiou and the mutiny, it started to make sense why he would have sought Caden out.

“I see. Well, First Officer-“

“Just Saru is sufficient.” 

This caught her off guard.

“Oh, okay. Saru.” It felt foreign to be addressing him so casually, somehow inappropriate, though she knew it was just friendly conversation with a colleague. “If you feel it’s necessary, I’d be very willing to take you on as a patient, thought my experience with counseling is limited.”

“Actually,” he started, again so careful with his choice of words. “I’d be less interested in that than some informed discussion with a trusted expert. Comrade to comrade, shall we say. Of course, that’s if you’re also comfortable with the idea…” 

Caden studied the man across from her. Though the raised features of his face were intricate, and plentiful, he also retained a strong sense of elegance. Probably the cheekbones. It made the hesitancy with which he made his proposal seem so much more unfitting. 

“I… would like nothing more.” Then, just to get used to the sound of it, she added, “Saru.”


End file.
